She turns Eight

No, you do not need to have a birthday, I told her.  No need to turn another year older.  Seven was a fine age to stay full of butterflies, jump ropes, dolls, and cartwheels… 

But once again she did not listen to her mom, and skipped away to celebrate her birthday and taking a little piece of my heart with her. 

Has it really been eight years already? 

Skye

There was once a little border collie, unloved, abused and without a family.

A boy and a girl rescued her, and brought her home.

They give her name, Skye, like the beauty above her.

She loves to catch Frisbees and take long walks.

She loves to chase and play with her fur family Boomer and later Stormy.

She despises squirrels in her yard.

She dislikes loud noises, bright lights and garbage trucks.

She does not care for others, because she loves the boy and the girl, the most.

The years past and there are more to love, two little boys and a little girl.

The years slow and she no longer can catch the Frisbees or chase the squirrels.

Fourteen years have passed to fast.  The boy and girl are sad.

She looks at the girl and the boy one last time, and then she goes to sleep.

She sees a beautiful bridge, and then Boomer.  She can run fast again.  She is free.

Fire Engines

Don't blink.


You are not seeing things

Because yes, mom that is a young, handsome, man. It felt like it came overnight. One day, I looked at him and the traces of childhood were escaping fast.
Gone are the days of big wheels, fire engines, choo-choo trains, and tonka trucks. All set aside collecting dust and slowly losing memories. A thing to be sold or held for a grand child or two. A thing to advoid as it represents "baby" toys.

So, when a big fire engine pulled into the cul-de-sac for a birthday party across the street, Vitaly did not want to 'see' it. That is for babies mom (as all of the adult males o00hhed and aaahhed). But, when no one was looking, I managed to capture this:

If you  look closely, I think you can still see a glimmer in his eyes and a smile of a little boy once fascinated with fire engines.

No he didn't!

Vitaly talking on his dad's cell phone to his "girlfriend". 
Dad- hang up time for your bath.
Vitaly- talking into the phone- "I can't right NOW!"
Dad- repeat
Vitaly- repeat
Dad getting irritated says NOW!
Vitaly then says.......(wait)......."I Love you too!"

((Pause))

Then giggling from dad, falling on the floor laughing from Nikolai, and me in complete and utter speechlessness.  No, he didn't just say THAT! 

But, he did.

Tweens

No one ever said the pre-teen years would be easy.  I have heard all of the horror stories from my friends/family that remind me (drum roll)… JUST WAIT UNTIL THE TEENS!

Well, the same friends/family never had a son with severe special needs like RAD, PTSD, Autism Spectrum, PPD and all sorts of crazy lettered diagnoses.

Yep, the “tween” years have been completely crazy!   But, add in the above SN and it is a whole new experience!  Puberty has caused my 12 year old to grow into a very tall child (in the 95%) with huge hands and size 13 shoe feet!  Include in that all of the bodily changes and then picture the following:

-          No eye contact

-          Wants to be “left alone”

-          Music rules his ears

-          No, I don’t want to, and What is the majority of his vocabulary

-          Hugs or kisses (NO WAY)

-          I am not wearing that!

-          Disgraceful looks at his sister and brother

And, now add in… tween Girls!

Vitaly has discovered the joys of a giggling, text messaging, phone calling, and note- writing girlfriend.   Unfortunately, for her Vitaly did lose his cell phone (due to inappropriate downloads from the internet that tween boys find appealing). 

So, luckily he does not have access to her texts. 

Instead, I have led him to an old dusty relic that sits in my bedroom- a home phone! 

Last night Vitaly and his “girlfriend” spent over an hour on this phone.  I would have loved to know what they discussed especially since his social skills are not as developed as others his age.  Anyway, after an hour it was his bedtime.  They took another five minutes to get off the phone, going back and forth about who is hanging up. 

I see much more tween fun to come…!

neglect

Wow talk about neglectful!  I almost forgot I had a blog!  Luckily I remembered my password.   I was sitting thinking of my daughter's blog as it is the anniversary of her "gotcha day" or in adoption wordspeak the day she was announced by the court as OURS!.  Sadly, her blog disappeared into cyberspace one day, and I have not been able to retrieve it.  Two days we were walking and she had so many questions about being adopted and I told her that her gotcha day was today and she was ecstatic.  (at least I think it is today so that is the day I will be using).  Darn I wish I could get her blog back.  She has all of the questions, but frankly many of the answers and memories are locked away in that site.  Six years recall is not easy especially when you did this journey three times.  Everything begins to get muddled.  I told her some of her story.  She found it fascinating.  Wish I had the pictures I put on the sight as well but stupid me stuck them on there thinking that I would retrieve them (I downloaded my camera to the blog while in Ukraine for space).  Nope.  Cannot be located.

Anyway a quick gotcha day shout out to my special little ukie princess with the long blonde hair and eyes the color of blue and grey that sparkle with wonder and delight!

How to become a Family

Glancing at the calendar, I notice that it is 11 years ago that we had traveled to Ukraine.

It almost seems a lifetime ago, but in reality it was not.   I still have memories of our lives before we adopted a child.  We were together for almost 15 years, before we began a family.  We had met very young and married young, especially in relation to most of our friends and family.  We spent years working different schedules so I spent many hours alone, doing whatever I wanted, without much responsibility except to work, keep up the house and bills, and take care of our dogs.  We traveled extensively, and did not worry about getting a sitter, on a Friday or Saturday night.  Date nights were any and every night we wanted.  No worries or commitments to anyone except the two of us.

Then on a cold, November day, in 2000, in Ternopil Ukraine, we started a family. 

Definitely, not the traditional way, as our delivery date was after a long noisy train ride wearing the same dirty clothes, and after playing cards and drinking a few beers, the night before. 

We met Vitaly a sad, scared, starving baby who weighed 11 pounds and was 15 months old.  We were just as scared of becoming a parent, as he was of becoming a son.  How does one prepare to go from 15 years childless to suddenly a parent? 

The memory that remains most vivid was when we finally were able to leave the orphanage with him permanently.  As we crowded into an old taxi, with our new son in hand, my husband looked at him and me and kissed us both.  A sudden feeling of completion and true love.  The two of us were now a family, of three.